It’s Okay To Be Human!

As a minister, mom and healer, I wanted to offer a few thoughts that I hope will resonate with your spirit.

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First……..

There’s no playbook for handling and managing this pandemic which has disrupted and upended our lives. We all are learning as we go.

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There is no such thing as the “Grief Police”. All of us are grieving the loss of something and we have a right to feel the full gamut of our feelings. Nobody gets to tell you what to feel, how to feel, when to feel or assess if it is acceptable for you to feel. 
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There is also NO grief or pain hierarchy. Nobody else gets to rank your pain, tally your losses and compare your pain/loss to theirs or others. People who do so may not be aware that they are negating your feelings nor how their lack of support intensifies your pain.

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If people are uncomfortable feeling their own feelings they may not have the ability to feel yours. Offer grace and seek support elsewhere. 
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Some people may not have the emotional agility, bandwidth or strength to offer anything. It does NOT mean that they are selfish or inconsiderate. It may mean that they are overwhelmed, scared or too bewildered to listen with their ears and heart.
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Empathy is unlimited. You can give it freely. You will not run out, and everybody can use more of it.
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You are not weak for feeling deeply. You are human. Be kind to yourself and give yourself compassion. Be intentional about your self-care ( however you define it).
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Don’t let others judge or assess your faith walk or how you practice your faith tradition. You have your own relationship with your CREATOR and how they engage their faith may not align, support or strengthen you.
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Those closest to you may be the ones who underestimate your pain the most. You make need to seek support outside of your circle.
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You don’t have to be the “strong one”. That expectation denies you the full right to experience your humanity.
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None of us are in control of the pandemic. None of us are in control of other grown people. We are only in control of ourselves which means it is us to us to emotionally identify what we need and to find a way to get it to support ourselves.
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I don’t know when this will pass, but it will.

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I am praying for you. I am praying for myself. I am praying for the world.